What Does A Woman Guest Think About Your Church?
What message are you wanting to send your church guests? Will your guests be distracted by the lack of care or embraced by the excellence of it? What do you want your guests to tell their friends about your church? Your church is not a football club, rotary, an exercise class or craft group. You are the church. You are different. Bill Hybels says, ‘the church is the hope of the world’. To be the hope of the world for a guest in your church they need to feel welcome, valued, cared for, included and comfortable. These lay the foundation for an open heart to receive the life changing word of God and to come into relationship with Jesus.
Looking after guests is a vital part of any church service. For a church to grow numerically is must replace the people who have left prior to it progressing into growth. Growth comes via guests enjoying your church and then returning.
Through the consulting arm of Grow a Healthy Church I am given the opportunity to be a guest, or a secret shopper, in many churches. Here is a 16 point check list for church guests from a woman’s perspective.
Website – Service times. I do not want to have to go out of my way to drive past your church, to read your sign to find out what time church starts.
Service times need to be clearly visible on the opening page. I am not techy so if I must look all over the website in an endeavour to locate the times, you have already frustrated me.
Street signs – When approaching your church, I am feeling slightly nervous, am following my google maps but also looking for a sign that I am arriving at the right place. Corner street signs, or eye catching flag sticks are most helpful. They let me know you are expecting me and making it easy for me to find your venue.
Photo by JanBaby
Car park signs – If your church is in a school or community building, car park signs or people guides directing the way to the meeting room are necessary. I arrived at one church which met in a college. There were three possible pathways I could have taken into the complex. With no one in sight I waited in my car until more people arrived and followed them.
Door greeters – It is wonderfully welcoming to be greeted by a friendly smiling face. I immediately relax and move into the foyer or meeting area.
Bathroom – Now I, or one of my children, need to use the bathroom. Where is it? I look for a sign. No sign. Who do I ask? A woman will tend to rate a venue, restaurant, café or church by their bathroom. Bland, messy or no paper equals zero. Décor, fragrances, paper towels, feminine extras equals top score. A woman guest has rated your church before the service begins.
Children’s Church – Where do my children go? I look for a sign? No sign. Who do I ask? Do I take them directly to the children’s area, and if so, where is it? Do they remain with me for part of the service and then go out? Go out to where? I would really like to see where they will be and to meet the person in each child’s age area who will be responsible for them.
Seating – I am sitting by myself. I feel awkward and conspicuous. Will anyone speak to me or sit near me? Yes, thank you.
Advertised start and finish times – Not starting on time and not finishing on time is disrespectful of people’s time. One church started ten minutes late as part of their connection time, only this wasn’t communicated anywhere. I was left to think, ‘What a slack lot this church are’. Another church assured me of a one hour service. At the one hour point the preacher just kept on going for another half hour!
Worship song words on the screen – All the songs sung are new to me. To be able to follow the words, the words need to be in sequence with what is being sung. I have been in several churches where I have completely given up trying to sing because the words are repeatedly out of sync.
Worship song pace – Ascertain the average age of your congregation in any given service and adjust the song pace to that age. Older worshipers can have difficulty singing songs which have a million words and are sung at a fast pace.
Contact details card – I am happy to give you my contact details, but you will only get my name and email address. I don’t know you, so any other personal information is given at my discretion. In one church the contact details card asked for practically everything but my bank account number and then asked me to leave the card on the seat as I left. I don’t think so!
Explanation of procedure – It is reassuring for me to know whether I am expected to contribute to the offering. Is it appropriate for me to take communion?
Mothers’ room – My baby is unsettled so I relocate to the mothers’ room. I look to see if it is clean and hygienic. Is there privacy for breast feeding? Is there a sound link up or screen so I can stay engaged with the service? Mothers feel a lack of consideration, thoughtfulness and care when there is murky carpet, grimy toys and dirty couches.
Photo by LRCL
Post service coffee – Feelings of awkwardness reappear. Where do I go? What do I do? Follow the crowd. Is there a guest area with someone to meet me, explain your church programmes that would attract me, my children or teenagers to return and to answer my questions about your church? Or am I left standing all by myself, no one speaks to me and I walk out the door unnoticed?
Meet the pastor – That would be both lovely and impressive.
Follow up contact – Thank you for the email, phone call or card received in the mail. I will seriously consider coming again next Sunday.
Three questions you need to answer
What message are you wanting to send your church guests? Will your guests be distracted by the lack of care or embraced by the excellence of it? What do you want your guests to tell their friends about your church?
What to do next?
Analyse your current procedure. Organise for a secret shopper to visit your church. Strategize any necessary change. Train people to ensure the message you want sent to guests and what actually happens are a match.
Your guests will look forward to returning.
Recommended resource: How to Wow Your Church Guests by Mark Waltz