8 Outstanding Ways To A Healthy Self-Image

‘Is that old thing still doing the rounds?’ The loudly spoken, draw attention to myself, comment by this particular women cut through the sound waves, as well as my heart, and a stunned silence filled the room.

I had just arrived to speak at a women’s small group and this was the greeting I received as I entered the front door.

At the time I was well along in my pregnancy and had run short of maternity clothes when a friend came to my rescue and passed on to me some items which she no longer needed. I was wearing one of these over tummy tops that morning, feeling confident and fresh, thinking I looked pretty good.

Every eye was on me in anticipation of my response.

Apparently the top I was wearing had begun its life with this lady and she had passed it onto my friend, who had passed it onto me.

I took a deep breath, smiled to cover the depth of my embarrassment and made a bright remark something like, ‘Yes, and I look stunning in it’.

The atmosphere in the room broke and the women went back to their general chit chat.

Why is a healthy self-image so vitally important for every pastor’s wife?

Because for a reason known only to themselves some people in our congregation feel they are at liberty, or have the right, to say whatever they please to the pastor’s wife.

Mostly their words are complementary but unfortunately at other times they are not. Words that are accusatory in nature or are spoken in criticism and judgment can easily slip passed a pastor’s wife’s protective heart shield to cut, hurt, discourage, as well as cause excruciating pain and self-doubt which reflects into her view of self.

A pastor’s wife may also be her own worst enemy and can all too easily be snared in a low self-image self-view as a by- product of being caught in the comparison game, where she is repeatedly comparing herself with others.

Comparison between body shape, clothing, height of shoe heels, ability to preach or not, church size and the list continues on to include many areas from which intimidation is able to rise if allowed to.

All opportunities for a low self-image to breed unhindered will do so if not recognised and counter attacked with that which the word of God says about you.

The intended purpose for a pastor’s wife, or any woman, having a low self-image is to ensure that she is lacking in confidence, her voice remains unheard, and then moves on into her desires and dreams remaining inactivated and unfilled.

Having a healthy self-image is one of the essentials for living a fulfilled and purposeful life and also one of the essentials for long gevity in ministry.

Here are 8 outstanding ways to a healthy self-image.

1. Make a determined decision that no one can cause you to feel inferior without your permission and you give absolutely no one the permission to do so.

2. Remind yourself often that you were born again to success. Believe you are a somebody because God does not take the time to make a nobody. As Frank Hultgren said, ‘You have the seeds of greatness in your life and personality that are exclusively yours. Give them opportunity to grow’.

3. Dress yourself like a success story. ‘You are your own greatest asset, so you must invest in yourself’, says Dale Beaumont in Secrets of Female Entrepreneurs Exposed.

4. Fill your mind and thoughts with and believe that which God says about you in His Word. Personalise scriptures like Eph 1:3-6 ’I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places; just as He chose me in Him before the foundation of the world; that I should be holy and without blame before Him in love; having predestined me to adoption as a daughter by Jesus Christ to Himself’.

5. Imagine, see and visualise yourself fulfilling what you desire to achieve.

6. Beware of and limit your time with negative critical people. Associate regularly with people who are encouragers and faith builders.

7. Avoid what Kagiso Msimango calls the WWWM Syndrome – What is Wrong With Me Syndrome. I agree with him when he says that entire industries are built on our WWWM syndrome, with canny marketers positioning themselves as our saviours, fuelled by our insecurities and our credit cards.

8. Come to an understanding that God created and actually enjoys different. Take the four seasons for example. Each season has its own individual and distinct features and in the same way so does every woman. Another woman may be different but that doesn’t make one better than another, just different. For all to be the same would be so boring. Kathleen Tessaro says in her book Elegance, ‘Fitting in is for school girls. Being different is not a crime, my dear, but an asset.’

You are an individual, one of a kind, unique and an intensely loved daughter of God who was also created in and stamped with the image of God.

Question - What have you put into place in your life which assists you to maintain your healthy self-image?